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I am the canary in the coal mine. Because of my behavioral health disabilities, I am more acutely aware of things like exclusive language; it causes me real pain. People misinterpret that as my being "overly sensitive" or "taking it too personally." I see it this way: if it causes me discomfort, it is probably uncomfortable to others, whether they are conscious of it or can articulate it or not.

I only posted this to let people see an example of how much harder it is for people like me to participate at KUNM. We have fewer privileges and are SO overburdened by the disabilities of a society that refuses to respect our dignity; we have to fight so hard for basic survival. When we try to participate in the larger community, we are not welcome; we feel rejected, ignored, snubbed, attacked and stigmatized. Is it any wonder so few of us make the attempt or stay around very long, if we do?

I posted to the group because J called me out to the group. Yes, I've asked J not to email me privately. I don't feel comfortable getting emails from people at KUNM if others can't see them. People have done some nasty things to me when others at KUNM couldn't see them.

Yesterday, for example, I received the following, from someone I do not know, without explanation:

fuck cowboys and the whore they rode in on
do not get me busted
xxxxp

I asked who s/he was and why this was sent to me. The person responded s/he was drunk and had an "intense" day. Like that's my fault?

I don't think those of you who work inside offices during the day, who only show up at the station to do your own shows and who never go to KUNM at all have any idea how brutal and cold my experience has been.

Nobody -- not management, not the Ideas List, not this committee -- has addressed that. I have been, at best, ignored. This suggests that I am appropriately uncomfortable in a dysfunctional atmosphere and culture. I see absolutely no commitment to heal any of that and, because I have the gall to point it out, I am branded.

How is the atmosphere at KUNM any better than the redneck Bible thumpers out here who call me a Communist, a "N" lover and a bag lady?

Every time I make a contribution to KUNM, it is received rudely.

Wouldn't anybody at the station like it to be a happier and healthier place -- for EVERY person who works there?